of your fellow RWS members and priests will help combat the jihadists as you
escape. Once you reach past the declining stairwell, and make it past the
stairs with the barricaded tables, you'll reach a small room with three
isolatory pillars. Watch out as about 8-10 jihadists will barge through the
brown door ahead. Some of them will be armed with molotov cocktails. SHOOT
THESE guys on first sight. If they toss one cocktail, it will keep most of
them, their friends, and civilians, but will also block the path with fire
(which means you'll be forced to take fire damage). Shoot them, then grab the
Poor Box with money inside on the table. Now, head out the front door. Watch
for an immediate jihadist straight ahead with molotov cocktails. Pull out your
pistol and snipe him off. Snipe off the other rifle-armed jihadist, and watch
for immediate jihadists to your left and right flank. Exit the courtyard,
finish off the remaining enemies outside the compound, then look in the opened
storage crate to the left. Grab the medkits to replenish your life. Exit the
area to go home.
*You go home and your wife is wondering if you have the autograph. You do.
She says she wants to sell it on eBay. You mention about how autographs are
worth a lot more money if the person dies. Hehe, so much for Gary Coleman.*
__________
/Wednesday/
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
DIFFICULTY: ***
OBJECTIVES: >> Piss on Dad
>> Vote
>> Get Xmas Tree
>> Get Laundry
DESCRIPTION: "Wednesday is the middle day of the work week. The week is
winding down, and you might feel somewhat upbeat. The Postal
Dude never feels upbeat. He feels like kicking ass."
- This will be an interesting day today. Our young man wants to pay his father
a visit, not for the benefit of society though. He also wants to vote, and get
a Christmas tree. Start off by going south for the tree. You will have to go
slightly west then south as the direct road is closed until Thursday. You'll
run into a few of your hated enemies along the way. Shoot them down when the
police aren't looking. Once you reach the Christmas Tree area, start looking
through the emporium. The Postal Dude will reject certain trees because they're
crappy or just plain suck. In the far rear of the compound, you will find the
perfect tree. A highlighter will glow on it as if the tree came from heaven.
Walk up and take it.
*Suddenly, a bunch of rednecks claim you're stealing their tree. They
are going to kill you for doing that. I don't think so, baby!*
- This next part is pretty simple. You'll have about 12-15 rednecks in the tree
area scattered around. Start off by using the Pistol to pierce a few rounds at
the shotgun toting rednecks. Switch to your own rifle or shotgun as you prefer,
and put a cat on it to concentrate the rounds. Battle your way out and use the
bushes/rocks as cover. If you need health, grab food off of the people's picnic
blankets and consume the health items. Exit the christmas tree area and head
back north to where your house was. You'll run into more ambushing rednecks. I
found that using Molotov Cocktails works very well as they usually swarm in
groups. Hopefully their scrambling will spread the raging fire killing even
more rednecks. As you race back to your home, don't forget about the protestors
that will engage you.
- If you have a wanted meter, hide in a back alley away from the police. The
voting booth area is inside the Chinese restaurant. Follow the signs and walk
up to the voting area. You'll have to fill out a ballet. It doesn't matter how
you fill it out - it's put in there for comical reasons (the form has no clear
winner, and he messes up when filling in the holes).
- After voting, head back to the church. It'll be a long walk, so keep on
going, and move behind the church. Before going there, look south of the church
along the perimeter wall. You'll find some treats and a Sniper Rifle. Enter the
church courtyard, but go through the door that doesn't lead into the church.
You will run into about 8-10 jihadists. Watch for a few molotov cocktails.
Counterfire, and even if the police target you, shoot them as well. Go about
and turn a left. Watch for a few Rednecks in this graveyard area. Nail them
down with a shotgun, and start to heal yourself. Go through the small land
bridge, and then cut a left up toward your father's grave. Press R to pull out
your whizzer and start peeing on the gravestone and the grave itself.
*Suddenly, 2 rednecks will sneak up behind you and whack you with a shovel.
The Postal Dude goes unconscious. He wakes up in a small wooden box, and
apparently the rednecks have been "taking turns" on him. Sounds reminiscent
of Pulp Fiction.*
- Hop out of the wooden bed and immediately grab the shovel. The 2 rednecks are
freaking out because you now have the weapon after they raped you once. You may
also notice you're wearing "leather" of some kind - EWW! Start whacking the
guys and kicking them. Decapitate them both, then replenish your health and
leave through the door.
*The Postal Dude realized he is wearing a buttcheeks-leather outfit. These
rednecks were some pretty sick folk. He says he needs to change and get
some laundry.*
- Right after the cutscene, some rednecks will storm you from the left
stairwell. Start whacking away and press Q to kick as well to do damage. Grab
the pistol & shotgun and start wielding it against these sick freaks. Check one
of the side rooms for a molotov cocktail & some ammo. Continue upstairs, and
you'll be in an underground pipe lair. Crouch under the side pipe, and continue
forth. You'll eventually end up in a large chemical production room. There will
be about 5-6 rednecks here. Pick off the long-range ones using the pistol, then
swap to the shotty for close range kills. Gather up the ammo, go up to the
second floor, then drop down the cargo loader box. You'll have to navigate over
a few narrow planks and hot across a few steam pits. Crouch under the pipes
that obtrude your path to freedom. When you reach the dead end, you'll find a
health pipe. Now, it's time to get onto those pipes that were blocking your
path. Hop on the low pipe, and use it to reach the medium-height pipes. Make
your way backwards, and you'll notice a platform that was above you the entire
time. Hop onto it, and go through this pathway that leads up some small steps.
- You'll now be in a larger production facility. Take out the unaward redneck,
then snipe off the remaining 3 near the production floor. You'll find some of
your old weapons stashed on the brown drawers beneath the steps. Go up the
steps. Hop onto the conveyor belt. You'll have to avoid two vertical stompers,
crouch under a steam roller, and then navigate side-wise around the rotating
acid vat. Hop to the next corridor. Continue forward, and you'll see some mill
dropping from the vat. Grab the pistols in the corner, drop down, and gun down
the rednecks below. Now would be a good time to toss a molotov cocktail to
ignite them. This will take care of the 6 other rednecks to the left. Move
forward.
- Move up the conveyor belt, and watch for a redneck to your rear left. There
are 3 more rednecks around the corner. Gun them down, and grab your money stash
on the brown drawer. You will also find a sniper rifle near the corpse of the
rednecks. Whip it out, and let's use that for the next part. Snipe headshotting
the rednecks down this long hall. There are some explosive barrels on the right
you nail to get a majority of the kills. Otherwise, rifle the remaining tangos
down. Move forth, then jam a left, and move up the right vat of acid. Watch out
for 2 rednecks directly above you. Use the pistol to snipe them off. Their
corpses will fall into the acid vat (hoorah!). Then, jam a left into the small
adjunct tunnel. You will come up to another storage room with about 6 rednecks.
Watch for the grenade tosser, and two accurate shots to the left. Drop down
ground level, go up the railing, cut a left, and go above the No Parking area.
You have escaped! Rednecks are now on your hate list as well.
- Now you have to make your way back to the laundromat so we can get rid of
this hideous bondage uniform. Continue south and make your way east towards the
laundromat. Try to get some healing items along the way. When you reach the
laundromat, go inside, move to the counter, and pay the man for a jacket and
some clothes. That's much better. Exit and go south to your home.
*Your wife checks in on you about the Christmas Tree and voting. The
Postal Dude just wants a nice beer.*
_________
/Thursday/
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
DIFFICULTY: *****
OBJECTIVES: >> Get Napalm
>> Get Krotchy
>> Get Steaks
>> Pay Ticket
DESCRIPTION: "Thursday is the super duper day. Friday's almost up, and
we only got one more day to go. Our Postal Dude seems in a
joyful mood to torch the grass if you ask me."
- I found that starting north and going south works best. That way, you'll move
in a loop and hit all points. Head north to the mall first. You may notice a
change in the streets now. In addition to police officers, military personnel
and SWAT guys will roam certain areas. As usual, they are better equipped and
have more armor. Be forewarned, the SWAT guys are very tough. Their body armor
tends to make them very resilient to enemy fire, so try to aim for the head.
Military personnel are a tad easier to take down, but they are equipped with
rifles - so be weary. Enter the mall area just like you did for Gary Coleman's
book signing.
- Go right, down the stairs, then head towards the upper portion of the mall.
Refer to your map. Stay on the first floor and you'll find the store called
"CopZ 'n tha Hood." The mascot won't say anything. Go on in and you'll find out
that the Krotchy doll is sold out. Enter the back room for employees only. Two
security guards will try to shoot you. Nail them down. If you checked in the
toy store, there was also a set of throwing scissors. They're pretty fun to
use. Turn right and get the Kevlar Vest by hopping on the table, then go left
where the 2 employees came from. Continue down this walkway, and you'll
eventually find a small employee office. Watch out for the mobster with the
shotgun to round the corner. Now would be a good time to use your Fish Finder
radar to spot civilians or enemies without actually seeing them. Look to your
right at the storage area with the crates. Watch for a grenade-toting woman
behind one of the crates. Nail her, then grab the Krotchy doll! Suddenly, the
police are on your tail. You're wanted!
- Grab some ammo clips and ready your health bar. Start to make the ascent back
to the store front. You'll have to deal with anywhere from 15-20 police
officers. Most of them are equipped with shotguns or pistols, so aim for
headshots with the shotgun, and pick off those behind crates with your pistol.
Make use of the medkits, ammo, and powerups you left behind on the way down to
replenish your status. When you exit through the employee door, the mascot will
be ready to fight you.
- Krotchy is invincible to bullet attacks. The sniper rifle, shotgun, rifle,
and pistol do nothing against him. However, Krotchy gets hurt from melee
attacks or incendiary (molotov, grenades). I found it best just to use the
police baton or shovel and beat the crud out of him. When he first has his
bazooka, pull out your pistol or shotgun, and shoot the rockets that are
launched from it. These will cause them to explode. Do this 3 times, and then
he'll equip his shotgun. This is where you run up and melee him. Strafe around
him and make to tap Q to get some boot kicks in while you're whacking him.
Repeat this until he dies. You'll now have his Bazooka. Exit the store, and
find an exit out of the mall. Your wanted level should lower fairly quick. You
now want to head south towards the Factory.
- Go in through the front gate and head up the walkway. There will be a
counter. You have a choice:
(a) Pay $300 for napalm
(b) Not pay and get napalm manually
- I paid since I wanted to get rid of my excess $600. Go down the stairs and
follow the "Will Call" signs. They will lead you through a series of walkways
and areas. You'll reach an area with the napalm on the counter. However, it's
not that easy.
*Somewhere in the factory, a scientist gets sick and throws up on a console.
It starts causing massive explosions throughout the plant.*
- Now that you have your napalm, exit, and watch the scientist get blown off
the railing. Rather than going left to exit, go right, hop past the coal boxes,
and go into the vent that has the lid exploded off. Go straight in the vent,
ignore the right passage, and go straight. You will find a tiny room with first
aid. Go back out, but take that alternate passage. You'll end in a tight brick
room with lots of rusted pipes and a yellow haze below. Here's a tip: Don't
fall.
- Navigate your way around the pipe complex by crouching under certain pipes,
looking for side inlets, and dropping down at certain areas. You will notice
the one pipe breaks apart and napalm starts spewing out. Jump diagonally right,
then go back upward so you're elevated fairly high. Make your way to the new
hallway. You'll reach a room with a giant napalm vat high above the Postal
Dude. The sealing cap will fall to ground level. Here comes the tricky part:
- Run through the room to the opposite side of the room where you can see a
hallway in the left corner. The giant vat will fall and start to roll behind
you. QUICKLY make it to the hallway and move on in. If you don't, the hallway
will be blocked permanently, and you'll have to revert to a previous save. In
the oven room, duck the first firing flame, and go down the next hall. The next
room has napalm filling the entire floor. Hop onto the floating pipes and
debris to reach the other side. Don't get scared when the one pipe to your left
rear explodes. Continue onward, and a scientist will urge you to run with him.
Follow him until he stops at the broken walkway. He'll try to get you to follow
him, but he'll fall into the whirlpool below. He's right, that's the way out!
Jump into the whirlpool, and you should end up outside the factory, sput out as
sewage. Swim to shore, and voila, objective 2 complete.
- Head slightly southeast towards the Police Station. Remember not to engage
rioters as the army/SWAT will deal with them quickly. Enter the police station.
Go up to the counter:
(a) Cost of the ticket is $300, and must be deposited on 3rd floor
(b) Cost of the ticker is free, but you must shoot your way to the drop box
- Let's assume option B. Start off by walking through the door right of the
cashier counter, and blast him away. Snatch the cash in the cashier drawer,
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